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professionalism communication unprofessional-behavior conflict conflict-resolution

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May 18, 2025 Score: 95 Rep: 90,003 Quality: Expert Completeness: 20%

Talk to your boss first.

You said it yourself. It's inappropriate to discuss things like this in a public meeting. You don't respond to an inappropriate act by doing another inappropriate act. And you absolutely don't want this argument to play out in public. Instead talk to your boss in private.

Establish first what your boss thinks about all this. Hopefully he agrees that you did nothing wrong in terms of what you were accused of, and the public shaming in the meeting wasn't good. If he doesn't agree then you try to convince him. If he agrees then your problems are 99% solved. You then get to discuss what the redress should be.

Don't forget to ask whether there is anything you should do to make things better. Even if most of the things you were accused of were wrong, never pass up a chance to learn how to be better.

May 18, 2025 Score: 46 Rep: 392,362 Quality: High Completeness: 0%

Send An Email?

No. Talk to your manager in person.

Email is the wrong mechanism for what should be a conversation, not a report.

May 20, 2025 Score: 6 Quality: Medium Completeness: 30%

Make plans to get out as soon as you can.

Two-on-one 'old-timers' using a public forum to air criticisms and complaints (justified or not) with a silent manager looking on... This simply reeks of an irreconcilable situation. Many workplaces do not operate on a principle of 'neutrality in pursuit of the optimal outcome'.

I've personal experience of similar difficulties, both in public service and in private positions. It's not within your power or part of your pay-grade to find and unclog this clogged-up drain. By your description, you'd be battling against collusions and alliances formed in the long-ago past.

Quoting from a Kenny Roger's song, "You gotta know when to hold 'em/Know when to fold 'em".

You'll likely never know the "why" of this situation. Reconcile yourself to that.

Move on as soon as you can, and find your place amongst, if not 'friends', at least compatible colleagues. (They're out there, and you'll appreciate them more having had this experience.)

Life wasn't meant to be easy.
-- Malcolm Fraser, former Australian Prime Minister

Do NOT send any emails. You have already seen that you and your contributions will be viewed from a negative perspective. Finish up and move on; leave them to play their 'games' amongst themselves without any more fodder.

May 19, 2025 Score: 5 Rep: 14,185 Quality: Medium Completeness: 20%

As others have said, talk with your manager and see what this direction goes.

This nonsense speaks more about them then you. They are being poor teammates.

I've had experience with this and one of two things will become clear. Either the company tolerates this kind of behavior or not. If the former, you will have to document everything you do and keep track of dates and things they have said to prove they are lying. When they say something bad about you, you bring up dates and times that proves they are untrue statements. You will have to do this until you move on.

If the company reprimands them for behaving such, I would tend to still keep track of things, but the situation should improve.

Either way, once the conversation is complete, you have to pretend it never happened when dealing with these two.

May 18, 2025 Score: 1 Rep: 12,220 Quality: Low Completeness: 20%

What is the desired outcome?

Six months is enough time at a company to get a good feel for which team members own their issues and which toss everyone under the bus. More importantly, does management know who are which group.

If these people have a reputation for "playing the blame game", do nothing. Your boss already knows what's going on.

If you're unsure and want to call them out. Send an email thanking them for bringing it to your attention. CC your boss and ask for a full post-mortem to use a learning tool.

Bottomline - ignore it or ask for the emotion free review are the two best options. Understanding the actors will continue their behavior, it is about understanding how these behaviors affect you.