How do I tell my direct report to stop brown-nosing so much?

My Experience working with remote Indian workers

Without context of your specific situation - is that they are polite in a way that in a Anglo-European context can come across as Arse-kissing.

Some examples such as calling their direct superiors Sir or Boss (in a way that feels brown-nosing in the English world)

As such, my gut feeling is that the issue(s) you are seeing are more cultural in nature.

With that in mind - I would approach it as such:

• Talk to them about some of their specific behaviors
• Let them know that it is not a negative mark against their work, but it makes you feel uncomfortable
• Let them know that you think it is a Cultural difference and that you understand they are just trying to be Polite
• Give them some pointers as to how to be polite at work, without being brown-nosing

Given that this is more of an informal chat, it might be better had at an offsite location (The Brit in me feels that all informal business meetings should be handled at the Pub and over food) - however, since they are Remote, that isnt an option.

But yes, this is tricky - the key thing is to make sure they know they arent doing anything wrong per se, just that you would like things done a little differently.

I feel it is:

1. A cultural thing:

   The hierarchy is very present in their culture. I attest a situation where it took literally 2 minutes to pass through a door because a manager hold the door and the direct report employee argue the boss should always be first and not holding the door to a direct employee.

2. And the job market in India:

   Multiple Indian coworkers share horror stories about working conditions in India. Good jobs seems to be rare, so if you are a more than average boss, expect to get a lot of compliments.

I saw a few bosses trying to negate the behavior from some coworkers with that attitude. It seems to be natural from them, even asking them to tone down compliments in 1on1 fails.

I noticed one boss that tried to give a compliment each time my co-worker gave one. In the end, it feel that my coworker was fishing for compliments, he tone down his attitude when he realized it.

So a proposition is to talk about that you feel not at ease with this behavior in a 1on1, avoiding critics because they are taken seriously in their culture. Then try to compliment him as soon he compliment to make him realize what he is doing.

Clearly and explicitly say that you would prefer to be addressed as , but also be patient, and don't make too big a deal about it. I used to make a small joke that since the knighthood from Queen Elizabeth hadn't come through yet, people didn't need to call me Sir. Remember that for the report, it is higher stakes than the usual boss-report relationship.

In many cultures - including English-speaking subcultures - people can say things and prefer another thing. Other answers have also noted hierarchy can be quite important in parts of Indian corporate culture, including fine-grained titles. It's a big place, though.

Over time, the report will get more used to your style of work, and believe you when you say you would prefer to be addressed informally. Once you have more of an established working relationship with them, you can revisit the topic and explain that in the working culture of the firm, it's better to be more informal, to signal a willingness to offer ideas and work on common problems together. But expect the trust-building process to take months, rather than days.