Still in my probation period — upcoming feedback meeting. Can I give honest feedback or better stay cautious?

When I read "feedback meeting" in my mind this translates to something like: "a meeting where your manager gives feedback to you based on your performance and job, and maybe some time at the end for feedback or questions from your part".

I may be wrong, as this will depend on the exact meaning that "feedback meeting" has in your company. However, my first advice would be to keep your mind open that this is probably more the other way around, and is a meeting where you have to be listening attentively on the feedback they give on the work you have been doing so far.

Having that mindset is important, as it denotes a good learning attitude and adaptability from your part, as well as all those adjectives companies like, such as "being a team player", etc.

Still, there may be a part in that meeting when they ask you about feedback you have that could help accommodate you or make your work smoother. If such moment comes then my suggestion would be:

I’ve noticed that the information flow in the team isn’t great — I often receive relevant updates later than some of my colleagues.

I’d appreciate more awareness and inclusion (I am a women, my colleagues are men).

These two seem to have in common the "communication and involvement in the information flow of the company" part, and I think it's a valid feedback or point you can politely and professionally bring out.

Regarding phrasing, avoid putting it on the lines of "I am not included or made aware enough". Rather, try to phrase it the other way around (what could you do to increase such awareness), for example: "in some occasions I received relevant updates/info later than what would have been ideal, how can I or what tools/channels do we have to improve on the timing of such updates?".

That makes it sound like you are looking for a solution you can put into action, rather than pointing fingers and making it sound like a "they" problem (and yes, I reckon its technically their problem in a good part).

Also notice how I didn't make it about your colleagues getting the updates before you do, as that would have been a more antagonizing and comparative phrasing.

Who knows, maybe your company as a Slack channel that you are missing? The solution could be as simple as including you on such channel, or perhaps there are other channels you do have available but are unaware of them.

Regarding the work setup that was not-ideal at first but then got solved, I would not mention it at all as it was already fixed and was a mistake from someone. I get that you got a "negative impression" from it, but when such mistake was identified it was fixed, so that's positive and you should not hold onto that negative impression.

Stay Cautious

Let's consider the best and worst case scenarios of honest feedback. Best case - someone finds out something about the company and goes out and improves it. Frankly, thisis unlikely, people alreay know what they want to know about the company. Worst case - you offend someone and they let you go.

I suppose you can balance for yourself between the 2 scenarios, but I wouldn't risk it.

I would also like to point out that people are regularly treated unequally at work, it is pretty much the basis of promotions. Workplaces that treat everyone equally end up with everyone performing equally poorly except the 10% who will work hard no matter how poorly they are treated.

Remember that the purpose of a feedback meeting is mostly for management to give feedback on how you are doing, not for you to evaluate the company or your manager. If there's something you want to change, make sure you put it as a question rather than a demand, but be ready to be told no, or not now.

Honestly, you haven't been there long enough to give much feedback beyond how well you think you are settling in.

What do you want, let to fire yourself? Obviously you never say anything, which might look as you would not be a good match for team.

Note, the boss / team lead, is very likely prepared for this talk and you can assume that he knows much more about you and your work, what he will say.

However, what he knows is not exact. For example, Old Boy #1 might hate you because you favorize something (call X), what he hates.

Old Boy #2 might like you, but he would be still more happy if you would be fired in the next mass layoff, instead he. This is why he wants to keep you in the team, while he is suppressing you where he only can.

What is the correct solution? Obviously you can not admit any of them to the boss. These talks, particularly the last talk before the end of your trial period, are actually "lately job interviews" and see them as lately job interviews.

Instead, you talk about your work with Old Boy #1, that you explain, how well you can work with OldBoy#1 on Y, where Y is what OldBoy#1 prefers against X. Although it could be done also with X.

You also explain how well can you work together with OldBoy#2. Why?

If any conflict will happen, no one will be interested, who has right. If the team dislikes you, very likely, your farewell will be a lesser sacrifice for the company as these two OldBoys. It is mostly not about the technological skills, although you love all the techs there, and you are very happy what you have already learned here. You say this even from what you hate here. The Boss has zero to little interest on your technological details, what he wants to see, how good match are you for the team.

Another important thing: It does not really matter, how well do you perform. What matters, how better the team performs, extended with you. This is what he wants to see. That his team performs much better that you are in it. And he talks with all your teammates and they will talk with him on similar concepts.

As OldBoy#1 says to the boss, that you are really bad in Y, that will add to your version of the story, saying that how do you like Y (beside also X), and you have already learned it a lot. The boss will sum these two.

As OldBoy#2 says to the boss, that you are a small little ant, diligent but nowhere yet as the good old boys with many years of experience by the company. Your version should add to that how well you work together with OldBoy#2 and learning his techs.

Never mention that he can fire you, while the reality is that he can and he knows that it is his last chance for that. Your attitude is like an usual boss meeting, friendly, talking upward to him, and happily explaining your work.

Lets look at the facts of the matter, you appear to have 2 problems:

I’ve noticed that the information flow in the team isn’t great — I often receive relevant updates later than some of my colleagues.

"Some of my colleagues" which means not later than other colleagues right? Other colleagues that are men? If I understand the rest of your post. It is probably not sexism seeing as you aren't the only one effected, and the other people who are effected are men. And even if you were the only one effected, if you are the new kid on the block... and everyone else has been there longer its still probably not sexism.

They forget to send you updates because their process is bad. It sounds like they are sharing updates to individuals rather than to groups of interested parties. I might suggest to them that they share important updates to either a group mailing list, or through a group chats instead of thru private channels so that people don't fall thru the cracks.

Next one:

Their superior made a decision about my work setup that was less favorable for me compared to others. Later, it turned out to be a mistake, and the decision was reversed

Hard to say without knowing more. Could have been sexism, could have been because you are a recent hire. Who knows? Was it work from home? That might again be a new person on the block. and not a we are sexist thing.

What sort of feedback do you give?

Don't blame it on sexism.. Because 1) most of what you described sounds to me like standard new person integration snafus. Something that a new hire experiences. And not something that is caused by sexism.

2. It won't help with your goals.

Constructive feedback that you can give:

Talk about the issues that you have experienced on receiving important updates. And suggest a fix.

You had the work environment issue. But it was fixed, focus on the positives.

I don't know what it was. Until I do

It leads to a bad working enviroment. All of your colleagues will think Oh, she's